How to Fake an Emergency When You’re Having a Bad Date

Posted on January 19th, 2008 in Faking the Opposite Sex

For those times when you just want the date to end, it is good to have a useful technique in your arsenal that will allow you to abruptly remove yourself from the situation without being insensitive to the guy or gal on the other side of the table.

Plan things ahead of time so you will be ready

The most important part of this procedure is to plan ahead. Do not run into the bathroom during the date to call a friend and tell them to call you back in five minutes. This is not cool; it’s too obvious. You would do better to just leave. Before you go on the date, give a friend a certain time to call you about an hour into the date, and when you know you will be in a public place that has a moderate amount of noise. I know this sounds like old news but it should be worth noting that people screw this up all the time. Don’t be the dumb ass, be prepared.

Don’t overdo your fake emergency.

If you are jumping around and putting on a show in front of your date while there is a busy signal on your phone, then you probably just screwed it up. It’s OK to get up and walk away for a private fake conversation. Chances are, your date is someone you do not know very well or maybe even just met. It is certainly reasonable and much more effective if your fake emergency is of a personal nature. Instead of making up some BS, you could say that you have a “private emergency,” and you wouldn’t be lying. You (privately) want to get the hell out of there ASAP (emergency).

For the fake emergency call, set up your phone for the default ring, or the one that sounds the most like a “real phone.” You do not want to hear “Who Let the Dogs Out” on your phone when someone is calling to tell you that your dog just got hit by a car.

When used correctly, the fake emergency phone call can be a great social tool, but use it sparingly because eventually, the word does get out. If you find yourself doing this a lot, then you should consider the possibility that you have some other, more serious issues that are not gonna get solved just by reading some crap you find on the internet.