Ten Things You Can Say or Do to Annoy Your PC Tech Person

Posted on June 30th, 2008 in Killing Time by Faking

As a freelance PC tech, I have been called upon to upgrade, diagnose or repair hundreds of machines. Over the years, I have encountered few problems that I could not solve. When explaining the problem to the client, I try to apply a metaphor they can relate to; for example, if a boot file is corrupt, then I may tell the client that their computer is like a car with a bad ignition. Most of the time, this method works well.

I understand and accept the fact that everyone is not computer-savvy. Most of the terminology that the average user does know has been picked up from their prolonged exposure to various retail ads. Like I said, I’m OK with that. The bulk of the knowledge I have of the mortgage industry could be summed up by my collection of terms like APR, ARM, sub prime and closing costs. What makes my teeth itch, though, is when someone tries to talk like they have the knowledge, but makes it painfully obvious that they don’t.

Here are ten things I have often encountered that you can say to your PC tech that play like fingernails to a blackboard:

Call your PC tech a computer wizard. We don’t like that at all. When you are asked not to use that term, promptly apologize. Then, refer to this person as a computer guru.

If you have a Linksys router, refer to it as your Linux. For example, “I can’t get online. I think there is something wrong with my Linux.”

Call up your local PC person and tell him/her that you need more memory because you can’t save any more files. When he/she asks if you meant to say storage, tell them, “no, all my DVDs are already in their cases.”

Call your local PC shop and tell them that you want to upgrade your system. When they ask how fast your processor is, tell them it is 2.4 gigabytes.

If you have already done #4, expand a bit by explaining that the brand of your processor is Windows XP.

Ask your computer guru if he/she is a hacker.

Tell your PC tech that you are doing a project for school or work and you were told that you need to buy some software. When he/she asks you what kind of software, tell him/her that “they told me I need to get that Microsoft.”

Tell your local PC tech that you think you might need some new spyware; say, “my computer had spyware when I first bought it, but the subscription ran out after 3 months.”

If you have a laptop, refer to it as your desktop. By the way, laptops are now called notebooks.

After the tech sets up your new cable or DSL connection, sit down at the machine and open up your dial up software. If you can get connected before he/she has a chance to stop you, say “wow, I thought it was supposed to be faster than this.”

Now that you have read through this, you can have a bit of fun. The next time your PC tech tries to show you just how much more he/she knows about computers than you, break out a couple of these gems and watch what happens.